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First things first In the blurb of this book it says..The Fault in Our Stars meets Eleanor and Park That should go I liked both those books in their own right This book should and does stand on it s own It s better than that.This review may go all spoilery and too much personal information Be warned My writing of reviews have been said to be Awkward..fuck that I m going all in on this one If I can get one person that needs to read this book to read it through my review..it s worth it May you eye go to the Sun, To the wind your soul Or go to the waters if it suits thee there Theodore Finch That odd boy who tries on different personalities hoping to find one that will put him into Awake mode He knows so many ways to die and little things keep him from going through with it It might be that he doesn t want a destroyed corpse for people to look on It might be that he finally met that girl that is maybe the one that might keep him there.Violet Markey Recently lost her best friend sister in a car crash She is broken No cheerleading, writing on her webpage, no wanting to go to collegeshe just is.These two meet when both of them are on the ledge to the bell tower at school Contemplating the reasons that it hurts to bad to go on Finch steps up and talks to Violet The word around high school becomes that she saved him.Later a class project comes up that means they have to partner up with someone and wander their state Finch nominates Violet to be his partner and our story begins.This book does move slowly at times I thought at first it would be a 3 4 star book Then it snuck up on me and I think it became part of my memories.This book deals with depression and mental illness It s not one that you can just walk away from The thing I know about bipolar disorder is that it s a label One you give crazy people Labels like bipolar say This is why you are the way you are This is who you are They explain people away as illnessesI get into these moods sometimes, and I can t shake them Kind of black sinking moods I imagine it s like what being in the eye of a tornado would be like, all calm and blinding at the same time I hate them.Finch s dad obviously suffers from those same type of moods He turns abusive with them He has found a new family though and moved on with his life Which just hurts Finch.My mom has un diagnosed bipolar disorder She can be the sweetest woman you ever met and then it happens She can be very abusive Is it her fault No, but it does make life harder to live with her I left home at the age of 15 because I was scared of her My sister and I both have tried to get her help She goes into the doctors offices and becomes the sweet woman..and they never listen to either of us about her moods My dad passed away last month and I thought we were stable with herthen she told the funeral director that she only had one daughter and shut me out of the room Does it hurt Absolutely Do I hold it against her I can t I have to let it go She has a sickness..one I hope that she will find help with eventually No, I m not a doctor nor do I play one on tv We just want her tested What a terrible feeling to love someone and not be able to help them Actually, I know exactly how that feels.I m so glad this book was written Suicide and mental illness needs discussed It doesn t need to be that dirty little secret that is pushed into the black hole of a closet.I feel like I could quote you this whole sweet, funny, heartbreaking, wonderful book I won t though Just go and read it According to Mental Health America, an estimated 2.5 million Americans are known to have bipolar disorder, but the actual number is a good two to three times higher than that As many as 80 percent of people with this illness go undiagnosed or misdiagnosed If you think something is wrong, speak up You are not alone I received an arc copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review Thank you so much. OMGTHIS BOOKHASCHANGEDME DOWNLOAD ♭ All the Bright Places ♡ The Fault In Our Stars Meets Eleanor And Park In This Exhilarating And Heart Wrenching Love Story About A Girl Who Learns To Live From A Boy Who Intends To DieSoon To Be A Major Motion Picture Starring Elle Fanning Theodore Finch Is Fascinated By Death, And He Constantly Thinks Of Ways He Might Kill Himself But Each Time, Something Good, No Matter How Small, Stops Him Violet Markey Lives For The Future, Counting The Days Until Graduation, When She Can Escape Her Indiana Town And Her Aching Grief In The Wake Of Her Sister S Recent Death When Finch And Violet Meet On The Ledge Of The Bell Tower At School, It S Unclear Who Saves Whom And When They Pair Up On A Project To Discover The Natural Wonders Of Their State, Both Finch And Violet Make Important Discoveries It S Only With Violet That Finch Can Be Himself A Weird, Funny, Live Out Loud Guy Who S Not Such A Freak After All And It S Only With Finch That Violet Can Forget To Count Away The Days And Start Living Them But As Violet S World Grows, Finch S Begins To Shrink This Is An Intense, Gripping Novel Perfect For Fans Of Jay Asher, Rainbow Rowell, John Green, Gayle Forman, And Jenny Downham From A Talented New Voice In YA, Jennifer Niven the characters weren t people, just mental illnesses put into bodies quirky but in reality mentally ill not cool nobody treated the characters problems like they were real problems and that pissed me offfffhowever, if you enjoyed the book could relate to the characters, that s totally fine this one just wasn t for me unfortunately. 1.99 on Kindle US 1 28 18This is one of the best books I have ever read I m going to say a lot of personal things on here then go on with the review which will include spoilers, but I will put up the spoiler alert before I do I also want to add some quotes from the book and the author s note at the end This book is about teen suicide and bullying But, it s also about some wonderful people, happy moments and a bit of crazy wonderful When I was young I was bullied in school most of my life I ended up quitting school and getting a high school diploma through the mail, which is legit but doesn t seem so since I never finished school I never told my family about this and to this day at 43 they still do not know My entire family think I was just some kind of a loser that didn t want to go to school Never judge a book by it s cover right When I got sick, physically in 2008 it put me in the hospital overnight and I came out with all kinds of mental disorders I m guessing they were brewing on the surface as I have always had some anxiety I came out with severe panic disorder, agoraphobia fear of going outside for me , ocd, depression and then came the physical stuff being fibromyalgia and arthritis from all the hard playing I used to do outside before all of this and hereditary with the arthritis, I m assuming All of these things turned so bad that I wanted to kill myself many times I still feel suicidal to this day, and yes I see an psych, no I don t take a million pills, only one for panic The one thing that held me back was my dog Dakota, I never wanted to leave him, he was my son Then he had to be euthanized suddenly in Feb of 2013 from cancer He just collapsed and then here I am having to kill him And I thought this is it, I can finally leave and go with him One out of the couple of friends I have, sent me flowers because she knew he was my son and how much it about killed me much less me killing myself Surprising to me was that my dad was very understanding and always checking on me since I cried every day My family knew I always said I wanted to leave this world when he goes, so I guess he was a little worried And my stupid self let my family and doctor talk me into getting another dog Now here I am with my rescued greyhound and I don t want to leave her, but I tell you I feel the pull of suicide a lot I even tell her about it Her name is Lucy The reason I m telling all of these personal things is I want some people to know a few things from someone that really thinks about these things It doesn t make any of us freaks and we can t just get over it That s what people say in this world with mental illness If it s not physical it s not real, well I would like them to walk a day in any person s shoes with any kind of mental illness If we could just get over it we would have freakin done that by now I m going to add a quote from the book that sums up how I feel personally and I know alot of people feel the same way QUOTE FROM BOOK Amanda stares at her hands I can only tell you how I felt Ugly Disgusting Stupid Small Worthless Forgotten It just feels like there s no choice Like it s the most logical thing to do because what else is there You think, No one will even miss me They won t know I m gone The world will go on, and it won t matter that I m not here Maybe it s better if I was never here Quote finished This gave me chills because I have said that in my head and out loud so many times I even asked my parent why they even had me And you see so many people seem like they are ok, they can hide these things Look at Robin Williams, it doesn t matter if your rich or poor, if something is going on with you and there is nothing to be done or no one sees it that s it Being lonely sucks Okay, let s move on to the review SPOILERS FROM THIS POINT I fell in love with Finch from the very beginning I liked Violet too, but it s Finch that steals the story He is fun, crazy, seems like he is so full of life, but he s not Finch and Violet meet at the top of the bell tower at school This was not a planned meeting, this was a random meeting of two people that where thinking of committing suicide Can you imagine, someone messes up your suicide attempt These stupid, insignificant prats are yelling for Finch to jump They should have the crap beat out of them People like that make me sick Anyway, Finch ends up talking Violet down from the tower but lets everyone think it s the other way around and she is labeled as a hero They end up being friends, but not without a lot of pushing on Finch s part Violet doesn t really want to be around anyone too much Her sister Eleanor was in a car wreck with her almost a year ago and Eleanor died and she didn t Violet feels like this is her fault because she told her to take the ice slicked bridge So Violet has her own issues She won t get in a car, things like that Sweet, wonderful Finch brings out all of the good in Violet Brings her back to herself They do a cool report for school together where they wander around and look at wonders in their town It s so wonderful and I would love to do that They do fall in love, and I was so hoping this would help Finch But throughout the book he is still fighting these death feelings He has a mom and two sisters, but they don t see anything wrong, they just say that is Finch He has a dad who left them for another woman and her son and he is a big jerk of a dad always saying Finch is a loser etc I think Theodore Finch is a wonderful character Just like so many out there that take there lives or lose their lives I can see how wonderful he is, but he just can t Obviously, Finch takes his life, but I m not going to say how he does it I m not going to say any about this wonderful book but to tell everyone to read it Read it Understand it Love it These things are real People like this are real And there should be no room left in the world for bullies or people that don t understand mental illness Get off your high horse and let others live the way they want and try to have some compassion I can t find the other quote I highlighted but I think I got my point across I m going to put the Author s Note in here because I think it is another important thing for people to read I m not going to add her personal parts of the note because that may not be right to do unless she asks me too I m just going to add the basic parts and some hotlines AUTHOR S NOTE FROM THE BOOK Every forty seconds, someone in this world dies by suicide Every forty seconds, someone is left behind to cope with the loss.In All The Bright Places, Finch worries a lot about labels There is, unfortunately, a good deal of stigma surrounding suicide and mental illness.Often, mental and emotional illnesses go undiagnosed because the person suffering symptoms is too ashamed to speak up, or because their loved ones either fail to or choose not to recognize the signs According to Mental Health America, an estimated 2.5 million Americans are known to have bipolar disorder, but the actual number is a good two to three times higher than that As many as 80 percent of people with this illness go undiagnosed or misdiagnosed If you think something is wrong, speak up You are not alone It is not your fault Help is out there End of partial AUTHOR S NOTE Some hotlines SUICIDE PREVENTION 1 800 273 TALK suicidepreventionlifeline.orgDIAGNOSING MENTAL ILLNESS IN TEENS helpguide.orgI recommend this book to everyone www.melissa413readsalot.blogspot.com Fuck I m a glorified classics guy but what the hell happened here I cried Fuck I rarely go for YA trust me I m a condescending jackass who s read one too many books Usually I never even touch these kinds of sappy stuff, I basically hate the genre I don t like John Green Fuck the Fault In Our Stars overrated sack of shit But I don t know why this book got through to me For one thing, it doesn t condescend, it doesn t sound corny, it doesn t try too hard The thing about adults writing YA novels is that they try to sound fucking stupid I mean, just because you re writing for someone younger doesn t mean you re writing for someone moronic Don t look down on them, treat them like equals I didn t feel that condescension here Jennifer Niven doesn t fall into the pit of trying to water things down, or sound like a kindergarten teacher or a smartass It felt natural She didn t condescend, I didn t condescend Nobody condescended, which is great Respect begets respect I digress let s get to book in the spotlight.The story is about a girl learning to live from a boy who intends to die It starts with two people meeting on a ledge of a school tower, both considering ending their lives One out of grief, the other out of pain and in the midst of death they connect.Both survive that day Then they are hurled together into a project that makes them wander through their provincial Indiana State finding beauty where they never expected to see it The story of their growth in love and life, trying to find meaning is something that kept me up reading all night Their journey through those precarious times together made me feel than the last ten books I ve read combined They made me feel alive But somehow, as one s horizons grew, the other s world shrank It s my experience that people are a lot sympathetic if they can see you hurting, and for the millionth time in my life I wish for measles or smallpox or some other easily understood disease just to make it easier on me and also on them This novel touches on death, depression, and suicide it paints a picture of love in a canvas of pain Teenagers for one understand pain and loneliness than anything death, grief, love problems, hormones, identity crises, self esteem issues You don t need to be depressed to relate to this novel You don t need to experience death to know the pain Heck you don t even have to be a young adult You are just drawn by the flow of it all, you give in You ride the waves and sometimes you can t help the flow of tears.I guess one of the things that really drew me in is the portrayal of characters They feel real, they capture the life of someone who feels a variety of emotions, the confusion and pretenses of being a teenager It captures anger It captures heartache It captures the hopeful dread inside someone young looking at the deep abyss of the future Forget whatever their issues may be, forget their circumstances, they re persons and they feel real What happens to them feels real And it also doesn t hurt that this novel is one giant tribute to Virginia Woolf But I think what s important about this novel without giving away too much of a spoiler is that it spreads awareness about mental illness and suicide the same way Mark Haddon s The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time did with autism This novel has the potential to be a mainstream success, and it talks about an important issue that needs recognition especially with young people It gives light about how young people should understand and deal with people who suffer from depression, bulimia, bipolar disorders, and other mental illnesses Especially considering that young people who suffer from these are the ones most fragile, often bullied by their peers and schoolmates for being different Ultimately this is a great novel with an important message aimed at the right audience At the end of the day that s all we can ask for from a book Whoever you are, whatever your condition may be, know that You are all the colors in one, at full brightness Only sometimes you may get enveloped in darkness, which when you learn to deal with, you find actually accentuates your light.Keep your head up. Seeing other people s reviews on this book that I really trust made me realise a lot of things that I don t really agree with Right at the time I was reading this, I felt like I could really relate to the main characters and their depression and I think that s why I thought I loved it so much and why I somehow overlooked some really concerning things It s kind of written in a way that the characters are nothing but their illnesses, if that makes any sense It felt like there was nothing else to them except for their depression That s so sad because I feel like this book was written just for the purpose of having mentally ill characters, rather than crafting a story centred around the actual characters and their personalities, ya know Also, what the hell were the adults DOING in this book Obviously nothing, because they completed ignored what was going on instead of getting these people help It was just really weird The writing was nice, but other than that, I can t really see any redeeming aspects of this novel that could change my opinion back to the way it was The hype for this book was huge and I was so caught up in the huge thing that happened at the end of this book, that I failed to see anything else I m really sorry if this is your favourite book or something, but people s opinions can change after a lot of deliberation and personal growth and stuff Hope you all understand that I m just being honest I know life well enough to know you can t count on things staying around or standing still, no matter how much you want them to You can t stop people from dying You can t stop them from going away You can t stop yourself from going away either I know myself well enough to know that no one else can keep you awake or keep you from sleeping I honestly don t know how I m supposed to write a review about this book.It made me so damn sad that I feel whatever I say, it just won t be enough.It will never do my feelings justice.The sadness I m feeling is impossible to put into words.It s the kind of sadness that festers in your heart.The sort of sadness that makes you ache all over and draws the air from your lungs.Maybe it s because this book hit way too close to home.Maybe it s because I know exactly how Violet felt.Maybe it s because in some way Theo reminded me so much of myselfThe wall has various names Wall of Thoughts, Wall of Ideas, Wall of My Mind, or just The Wall, not to be confused with Pink Floyd The wall is a place to keep track of thoughts, as fast as they come, and remember them when they go away Anything interesting or weird or even halfway inspired goes up there His actions, the fact that he embraced life than everyone else around him That he saw the beautiful things in our grey world and vehemently refused to succumb to the ugly things that sometimes make it so hard to live Finch fought for every single moment and to watch his constant fight thoroughly broke my heartI m fighting to be here in this shitty, messed up world Standing on the ledge of the bell tower isn t about dying It s about having control It s about never going to sleep again It wasn t the plot or the subjects that moved me.It were the intense feelings this book gave me The mood it put me in, the trip down my own memory lane There are books that make you think,There are books that make you feel,But it s so very rare to experience both To think and feel and hurt with every fibre of your heartI am not perfect I have secrets I am messy Not just my bedroom but me No one likes messy They like smiling Violet It s exactly what All the Bright Places did to me.I thought about it even when the book was closed,I hurt reading some scenes even though there seemed to be nothing that would qualify such a reaction.There were tears in my eyes when I read certain parts and I can t even tell you whyI walk into my closet and shut the door Inside, I try not to take up too much space or make any noise, because if I do, I may wake up the darkness, and I want the darkness to sleep I m careful when I breathe so as not to breathe too loudly If I breathe too loudly, there s no telling what the darkness will do to me or to Violet or to anyone I love All I can tell you is that I ache I hurt I m a mess after finishing this book.I didn t ugly cry when I read the last page.I didn t sob my soul out.I didn t weep like a little child.Instead I hurt I suffer I feel like a part of what makes me me was ripped out of me Exposed to the eyes of the worldBe the person I m meant to be and have that be enough This book is so beautiful,powerful,hopeful,charming,relatable,frustrating,crushing,life affirming,heart wrenching,and at times even funny and deepKeep going Don t stop now Don t be a waiting person You lived You survived a really horrible accident But you re just there You re just existing like everyone else Get up Do this Do that Lather Rinse Repeat Over and over so that you don t have to think about it It s an ode to life and yet it left me utterly exhausted and somehow broken.Should you read it Absolutely Yes But be careful, it might easily crush your heart.That s not only a fair warning.It s the bitter truth And now excuse me while I finally yield to my sadness and actually cry TTI learned that there is good in this world, if you look hard enough for it I learned that not everyone is disappointing, including me, and that a 1,257 foot bump in the ground can feel higher than a bell tower if you re standing next to the right person Hmm, so there s a girl whose name is a colour Violet and a boy whose name makes him sound like he burst from the pages of a Dickens novel Theodore Finch and they re both super quirky, intelligent and know the names of a bunch of dead poets Then there s that whole death thing hanging over this novel why does it feel like I ve read this before ErrOh, right.Okay so don t you just hate it when reviewers try to tell you what you should or shouldn t read And they make universal statements like who could possibly love a book like this Yeah, me too Which is why I m not going to tell you to do anything but I am going to strongly recommend that you consider reading Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock instead of this book Because the theme is the same, only I believe it to be so so much better.Perhaps it s just me, but I am getting so tired of these Lifetime special kind of books that seem to hit me over the head with emotional manipulation John Green, of course, created his own set of quirky characters to make a humorous book about cancer, and now we ve reached the same for suicide If you did happen to love The Fault in Our Stars and other books like it, don t let me keep you from snapping this book up it probably will become a new favourite But it just did not work for me These characters all feel so fake like plot tools the author uses to extract our emotions From the very first page, I felt like the book took centre stage and introduced itself as I am a book about suicide Cry, bitches I knew how this was going to end I just knew it Not even any surprises Apparently, it s some flaw in my character for not loving All the Bright Places because these books constantly claim commercial and critical success I should be drowning in my own tears and mucus right now Oh well, sucks.And honestly Augustus Waters and Theodore Finch Please What century am I in Blog Facebook Twitter Instagram Tumblr EDIT Full review here don t even know what to say I m sure the words will come, and at that point I ll try to film a review But for now I ll just think about a million and one things My gosh 3 Review copy provided by publisher in exchange for an honest review.